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I have often said that being the parent of adult kids is an art, and not always so easy to achieve.

But I am beginning to think that being the adult children of one’s parents is not so easy either, and also an art. They treated me like a child, and sometimes in spite of myself, and being all grown up, I acted like a child around my parents. The friend I was talking to about it had recently had the same experience with his parents, who had treated him like a five year old on a visit home, although he is very grown up, and a responsible, intelligent adult.

(And by adult, I mean even ‘kids’ in their early 20’s, or pretty much anyone who has left home, no matter how young or old they are).

I am very opinionated and have very definite ideas and opinions, about how life should work and people should behave.

“Remember when you….” followed by some hideously embarrassing story that makes us look like fools. I think the basis for a great relationship between adult kids and parents is respect.

Another important factor is not expecting your adult kids to be you.

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Unfortunately, there is more that you shouldn’t do than should, but first let’s clarify what is meant by “dating.” Legally, “dating” means one-on-one social contact with another person.

table If you are on a personal connection, like at home, you can run an anti-virus scan on your device to make sure it is not infected with malware.

If you are at an office or shared network, you can ask the network administrator to run a scan across the network looking for misconfigured or infected devices.

There is no distinction between platonic contacts and ones that are romantic or sexual, although from a practical standpoint, the romantic/sexual relationships are the ones that draw scrutiny and cause complications.

The reason divorce lawyers counsel against dating while the divorce is pending, even if separated, is that it has the potential to increase both the cost and the stress of the divorce trial. Judges, however, rarely punish someone who begins dating – sexually or otherwise – once they have physically separated from their spouse.

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