En español | In the course of my work as a sex and relationship educator, I frequently run workshops about dating after age 50.My audiences are people who are motivated enough to show up at such an event — but scared silly about diving into a dating world they hadn't even thought about for decades!If you've been out of the dating pool for a long time, starting up again can be frightening.But you'll be pleased to know that things have gotten a lot easier since you were going to high school dances and college bars. This is the person who has betrayed you in the most basic sense of the word. Now before you reality-addicts start bashing me for this, here is what I mean; wearing clothes that look like you're doing a porn film, ACTUALLY doing an online video exposing your private bits, flirting with pretty much anyone and everyone for attention and blasting the private deets of this drama online. If he's in a relationship with the person he cheated on you with, don't treat her like yesterday's trash. Trust me when I say, even a good hard (okay, partially satisfying) slap on his face isn't going to feel as good as you think it will.He is author of more than 50 books, including Reading the Bible Supernaturally. Stacy Reaoch is a pastor’s wife and mother of four. Tibayan is the pastor of Bethany Baptist Church in Bellflower, CA, where he lives with his wife Frances and their five children.She is passionate about helping women learn to study the Bible and apply God’s life-changing truths to their daily lives. He blogs at and helps lead The Gospel Coalition Los Angeles Regional Chapter and the Los Angeles Southern Baptist Association.
Marriage between sinners has its inevitable messes.There is nothing so terrifying in a married woman's life than the threat of an unfaithful spouse. Well, most everything else we can handle; losing a job, losing a parent, the sickness of a child or relative. So put that Sharpie down and don't ask your bestie if three-four letter words need a hyphen or not. Yes, a different one than you imagined, but you never know -- it could be better than the first.All of those things can be "fixed"; they have solutions that we can band together with our spouse to overcome. Many of my middle-aged women patients ask me similar versions of the same question: why isn’t this weight loss technique that has always worked for me in the past working now?The answer lies in the complex ways that our hormones change and impact our metabolisms during perimenopause.John Piper is founder and teacher of desiring and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. She and her husband, Phillip, have a son, and they are members of Redeemer Church in Jackson, Mississippi. David Mathis is executive editor for desiring and pastor at Cities Church in Minneapolis.For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is a husband, father of four, and author of Habits of Grace: Enjoying Jesus through the Spiritual Disciplines.A whole host of online dating sites have sprung up to help you meet great people from social networks that normally don't intersect with yours.Some of these sites are specifically geared to the 50-plus crowd, and they are attracting more and more single, divorced and widowed people than ever before. When my ex told me (on New Year's Eve, of all times) that he "thought" he was in love with someone else, my first thought was, "Oh snap, there's not enough alcohol in the house for this crisis." My second thought was to fall apart; cry, wail and scream until he felt as bad as I did in that moment. Instead, take a breath and repeat after me: This will not define me. Close friends and family that you KNOW is different, but beyond your small circle, resist the urge unless you want to come out looking like the "soon-to-be evil ex". Any damage you do to the property in your home -- regardless of whether it's "yours" or "his" -- will have financial consequences for you later. I'm not saying you have to schedule a mani/pedi day with her; I'm saying take the high road and tell yourself that the real reason your happily-ever-after didn't happen isn't just her -- it's him. Your story -- the new one you're living -- has the chance for another happy ending. The danger in this is that -- by doing it -- you make yourself look really, really bad. Oh, sure, it's all fun and games until you "accidentally" shatter the front to his commemorative window box with a football signed by what's-his-name. Your kids are the audience to this mess; they have front row tickets to the show and you don't want to give them any more fodder for their future therapists than you have to, so keep it between you and your ex until you absolutely must tell them what's going on. Sorry, but a backhanded explanation of, "Sorry honey, daddy isn't here now because he's hanging out with his new friend with the fake breasts and letting mommy hold the bag of all our broken dreams" isn't going to win you any points in the long run. The kids don't understand what's going on, and even if they do, there are no winners and the ante will always go up until it gets really nasty and you're explaining to the judge why you bribed Cirque du Soleil performers to come to your five-year-old's birthday "bash". Unfortunately, though, it DID happen, and you focusing your energy on slamming doors in her face when she shows up with him to pick up the kids is not going to make anything better. This is a chance for you to start again (scary as that might seem).