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Dating with a trajectory towards marriage doesn’t mean you only date one person ever. So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. The ultimate purpose of marriage is sanctification (becoming like God). If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp. That would be awesome, but it’s not always realistic. If you are a Christian, God isn’t a piece of your pie. Why date someone who doesn’t even have God as a piece of the pie? Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Your heart and the holiness of marriage are too important to flippantly give away because you are frustrated, impatient, or settling. In the past few years, I have watched many, many Christian television programs where people are interviewed about their struggles in life, and how they believe God helped them with that struggle or delivered them from it.Many of these people I am speaking of are Christian women who were very promiscuous in their 20s and some into their 30s.

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Have you ever heard the phrase “unmet expectations lead to frustration? I had a really interesting conversation with one of my husband’s cousins recently.

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A good deal of the pain we feel in our day to day lives comes from unmet expectations.

As an example, if my husband doesn’t put his dirty clothes in the hamper I become upset, but only because I expect him to put them in the hamper. The same is true, for example, of my parents: they feel a great deal of pain today because I didn’t live up to their expectations as an adult daughter.

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